Dear Faithful Readers,
It has been awhile since I've written. I could probably find something more scholastically oriented to focus my time on...but as it stands at present, I do not care.
I don't feel like myself lately. Or maybe, this is the real me? I'm not sure yet. But I know that I've been filled with lots of hate, and I've been just a jerk lately. If I have been a jerk to you, I am sorry. I had a dear friend told me that he was angry at God last night. I think that's perfectly normal. I am too. I can totally relate to trying to be the best that I can be, and being a good person and doing everything to the best of my ability, and yet it seems I always fall short. There are SO many people out there who don't deserve relationships, who treat people badly, and yet...they succeed. Their lives are "better" than mine. Is it wrong of me to be jealous of them? I really just don't know what to do. I hate to even say that I'm angry at God, because I know he wants my life to be the best it can be. But the fact of the matter is....I'm getting angry when I know I shouldn't. At God AND everyone else.
So here I am. Broken. Not sure how much my life is worth at this point. Asking for A) Your forgiveness. And B) Your prayers. I love everyone who reads this, and I really need your help and your thoughts to help me. I'm hurting, but I love you still.
God Bless,
Nick
