Am I Crazy For Lovin' You?

The answer to the above question is yes. I am an idiot. I ACTUALLY believed you might have meant what you said. But of course I was wrong. I'm never wrong about anything in my life and I picked this one. Awesome. Well of course thanks. For nothing. I've been in situations before when I had to choose and I had to deliberate and decide between women, or other things. I'm really bad with decisions and usually, they all die. They fade. They leave before a decision is made. And I'm left....alone. But I was proud of myself. I had a decision made. And guess what? You reminded me why I was the way I was.

"People don't realize this, but loneliness is underrated"- (500) Days of Summer

I wasn't sure that I agreed with the above statement at first. But I realize now that loneliness might be the life for me. I can do whatever I want. I'm bound by no one's schedule but mine, and the most important thing about loneliness- You don't get un-hurt just to get hurt again.

"Well, you know, Henry Miller said the best way to get over a woman is to turn her into literature"- (500) Days of Summer

I don't know if a blog is literature. But it's helping.

My faith, God, is struggling along. I know that you are there and that you are real, and that you have purpose for me. I learned that in my darkest hour. But what I don't understand is why my life has felt the same for so long. If there is a map, why am I driving in circles? My prayer today is that you show me. I don't ask to see the whole plan. I know that's impossible. Maybe just....the next step? I'm always in prayer for my friends, Lord. Especially the ones who have it all together. I'm so afraid that I will get depressed and turn to things that I don't need in my life. That you want me to turn away from. Father guide me back. I am willing.


Thanks for reading. If you're going to post negativity just don't. If you have a problem talk to me about it, posting comments is not the way to do it. I love you all and if you have anything to say to me I encourage it. I just don't think you ought to post it here. Again, I LOVE YOU.

Nick