Hello Internet. It's been awhile.
I feel pretty good about a few things in my life, like my girl is amazing. She's my best friend and I love how happy she makes me and how happy I seem to make her.
I'm working back at K-mart, but that has brought my confidence back. My confidence is delicate, but by and large, working at K-mart has put me back on the "find a good job for my future" course.
But here is my problem:
Everything I was passionate about months ago has fallen away. I'm in a show right now but it's difficult for me to connect to the material, and it's been a rough-going production for the cast and the director thus far, though things are finally looking up.
Also, I'm selling out and finding a big-boy job, because I want to have money to have a decent life for myself.
I have been telling people in job interviews that I am a people person, but I'm starting to think that's not true anymore. I used to take pride in my relationships because I put so much work into them and I had lots of friends that I cared about and cared about me.
But...living away from them is teaching me that...well...that I was wrong. It's so hard to think that people who were such a huge part of my life now barely talk to me. I can name 3 people from Nashville/Lipscomb that have contacted me first in the last three weeks. I'm not even that far away from them...should things really be this difficult?
My prayer today is that I make the most of my situation. Obviously, God knows what he is doing. But I long for the brotherhood (and sisterhood) that I once had. My prayer is that God takes control of my life and helps me not to need those things I once relied on. I pray that he gives me strength in all that I do, and keeps me forward on the path he wants for me.
Prayers and Comments are always appreciated and encouraged.
NAH
Here's my take one it. After observing the relationships that my parents have had with other people I have determined that as we grow older we don't have "friends" in the traditional sense anymore. I have been forced to accept that my life will never resemble How I Met Your Mother or Friends. I don't want to. I know how you feel, I rely so heavily on my friends that when people don't reach out to me I can't help but feel abandoned.
ReplyDeleteI firmly believe that if we want to keep the friends we have now, it's up to us. I mean talking on the phone is one thing, but I'm speaking as in changing our interests so we can still relate to each other. As people grow up and get married the two people are no longer independent personalities but a compromise of the two individuals. That being said, it is up to us to find common ground with this essentially new personality.
You just gotta trust that, as people change, they keep you involved in the process. Otherwise none of us stand a chance.