A few years ago, I posted on the newest, most current blogging venue available (my Facebook notes) to write about Valentine's day. How we needed to appreciate our Skeeter Valentine's (Doug reference, anyone? "Honk Honk") and not just our romantic ones. That lesson still rings true. However, I'm here today to write about something a little different.
I came into this blog I don't use often to tell you this story because I feel like it needs to be shared. As many friends that I have that are part of a couple, I have tons who are single and especially embittered by this greeting card company mega-money maker known as "Valentine's Day" or "Singles Awareness Day".
I'm hoping you will take this story not as "rubbing it in" but rather as an encouragement, because I was once upon a time having consistent bitter Valentine's day pity parties.
Anyway, the story I came to tell:
This Valentine's Day marks my second (and year and a half "anniversary") with the love of my life, Kaylin Klein. We met as dance partners in the Mill Race Players "Cinderella" in the Summer of 2011. I was about to begin my final semester of college, Kaylin, her sophomore year. I was charmingly bad at dancing, she insists she's "had worse" dance partners.
I knew the first moment I met Kaylin that I was attracted to her. She carried herself differently from other women and I was attracted to that. So I Facebook stalked her (found out her name via the "Cinderella" cast list, actually), added her, and slowly started working my way in there. She was genuine, kind-hearted, sweet, and Christian. It's all I ever wanted in a partner, but nothing I felt like I deserved. I had made a lot (no seriously, A LOT) of mistakes in my previous dating endeavors, and I didn't feel fit to date someone from such a different dating background. But God worked on me. He showed me examples of others of my friends who had turned their love lives around. I stayed in prayer and I wanted nothing more than to be a part of this girl's life.
I wasn't used to getting what I wanted, as it was often not what God wanted. This time proved different, however. I got exactly what I wanted. I "successfully wooed" Kaylin, and we ended up committing to each other just before I left for my final semester. I was ecstatic.
I have lots of cutesy little relationship beginning stories, but I'll spare you those on this occasion. Jump ahead.
Only a few months later, we would both be home in October and I would tell her (for the first time) that I loved her. She returned my sentiment, and from that point on I was sure that God had put her in my life permanently. I was sure after only a few months that she was the one. She may not have been sure so certainly, but right around a year after the initial exchange of "I love you"s, I got down on one knee and asked Kaylin to be my wife, and she accepted.
*pause for cheers and tears*
I didn't write this to tell you how great things in my relationship are. I mean, they are great but it's no walk in the park. It's work, especially when she's in Muncie without a vehicle, and I'm at home working so we can have money to get married. Gas prices alone would cause some people to fall apart in that scenario. No, I wrote this to my single friends mostly, so that you don't lose heart. I had lost heart. I had given up on ever finding the right person, just before I found the right person. Be faithful. She/He's out there, and no matter how many decisions you've made that you'll regret, God is looking out for you. Just be mindful that it isn't over yet. If there's someone out there for ME, there's DEFINITELY someone out there for you.
Be mindful and prayerful in your relationships. God will help you find them (or them find you) AND He'll help you keep them. Don't be too picky (don't get me wrong here, be picky, just not TOO picky), always keep your eyes peeled, and again, BE FAITHFUL. God has not forgotten about you, and He has the perfect path laid out for you. Just be prayerful and find it.
I'm not pretending to have all the answers, but I'm thrilled with the partner God has found me. I'm thrilled that she loves me so much, that she loves Jesus, that my youngest brother-in-law will turn 4 years old on our wedding day. I'm thrilled with my eventual in-law family and that my family is thrilled with my choice. Sharing my life (even the little things) seems so exciting to me, and I can't wait to get there.
"When you figure out you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, you want the rest of your life to start right away"- When Harry Met Sally
I hope you all found this helpful! Happy Valentine's Day!! God Bless!!!
NAH
Thursday, February 14, 2013
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
The time has come, the walrus said...
Somethings really been troubling me lately, and I had no better way to say it long-form than in this blog, so here goes:
I'm sorry. I've been griping and putting political posts out there way too much. It's not like me, really. I'm afraid its because I honestly have nothing better to spend my time doing. When I was in school I was able to be in plays or doing other things, but now I just have work, and getting angry about things. I need to find an outlet. And for this, I am truly sorry. I think what I think but I'm sorry for shoving onto your Facebook and Twitter feeds. I've been un-followed and un-friended enough for one election cycle.
For the record, as far as legality goes, I believe in equality for all and I am pro-life. I won't argue with anyone about this anymore. That's how I feel, you feel differently. You won't change my mind and I won't change yours.
I won't argue with you about it, but I will defend my side of it. That's often what I see myself doing. Defending the other side that I don't feel has been given a fair shake. I'm mostly not a fan of "you're wrong, I'm right" attitudes, and if you think that I feel that way, I don't. In fact, I HOPE that America is correct in choosing Obama for our economy. My OPINION is different. I have been arguing, too. I won't deny that, but I am competitive in nature, and that's the only explanation I have for it. Every time I think to myself "Self, you shouldn't do this" but I do it anyway.
But here is some food for thought. Remember three paragraphs ago when I said I've lost enough friends and followers? It's true. I've honestly had to overcome that sick feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when you're torn just to post that stuff. I don't want to lose friends but I feel like something needs to be said. No longer do I feel that way. But it goes both ways. I'm tired of hearing insults flung and sarcasm used in everything people say. I talked with someone today who told me that she agreed with everything I had said, but was afraid to even "like" my post or comment in agreement, because she might face attack and ridicule from her "friends" who believed differently than she. I for one, find this intolerable. Yes. This is a true story. PEOPLE SHOULD NOT LIVE IN FEAR OF THAT. EQUAL RIGHTS SHOULD INCLUDE RIGHTS TO BE ANNOYING ON FACEBOOK EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE.
Anyway, I'm sorry. Sorry for stepping on your toes, or being rude, or starting arguments. I can assure you, most arguments with my Facebook or Twitter friends are not fun for me. It goes against every instinct that I have and I don't want to do it anymore. But, if you're asking for my apology for standing up for what I believe in, and standing up to sarcasm and ridicule of what I believe, I won't do that.
I'm willing to do my part to repair any relationship I have broken. I'd like to actually have some friends that I have decent conversations with. I don't have too many of those other than my brother and fiancee, currently. I never let someone's views get in the way of me caring for them and loving them, and I don't think you should either, but I can't tell you what to do. :)
Well.
I feel a lot better now that it's out of my system. I hope that your eyes are opened to my inner torment over all of this. I can't shake off losing a single friend. I take every un-follow and de-friend personally. I know I've done some un-friending recently too, and I honestly can't say it was warranted, either. I've had a lot of anger for a long time. I'm working on it.
I hope you'll accept this as my apology, friends. Even if we're not "Facebook official" or you don't follow me on twitter, I still consider you a friend. I care about you and I hope that things are going well for you. If there's anything I can do for you, please let me know! Share this with your friends who you know have deleted me from their lives. I won't add them back but will gladly welcome anyone back into my life.
Thanks for listening, and reading, and please share your thoughts with me, good or bad. And pray for me, if you should feel so inclined. Also, pray for my dear friend CJ, who has gone through much worse this week.
Thanks. God Bless.
NAH
I'm sorry. I've been griping and putting political posts out there way too much. It's not like me, really. I'm afraid its because I honestly have nothing better to spend my time doing. When I was in school I was able to be in plays or doing other things, but now I just have work, and getting angry about things. I need to find an outlet. And for this, I am truly sorry. I think what I think but I'm sorry for shoving onto your Facebook and Twitter feeds. I've been un-followed and un-friended enough for one election cycle.
For the record, as far as legality goes, I believe in equality for all and I am pro-life. I won't argue with anyone about this anymore. That's how I feel, you feel differently. You won't change my mind and I won't change yours.
I won't argue with you about it, but I will defend my side of it. That's often what I see myself doing. Defending the other side that I don't feel has been given a fair shake. I'm mostly not a fan of "you're wrong, I'm right" attitudes, and if you think that I feel that way, I don't. In fact, I HOPE that America is correct in choosing Obama for our economy. My OPINION is different. I have been arguing, too. I won't deny that, but I am competitive in nature, and that's the only explanation I have for it. Every time I think to myself "Self, you shouldn't do this" but I do it anyway.
But here is some food for thought. Remember three paragraphs ago when I said I've lost enough friends and followers? It's true. I've honestly had to overcome that sick feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when you're torn just to post that stuff. I don't want to lose friends but I feel like something needs to be said. No longer do I feel that way. But it goes both ways. I'm tired of hearing insults flung and sarcasm used in everything people say. I talked with someone today who told me that she agreed with everything I had said, but was afraid to even "like" my post or comment in agreement, because she might face attack and ridicule from her "friends" who believed differently than she. I for one, find this intolerable. Yes. This is a true story. PEOPLE SHOULD NOT LIVE IN FEAR OF THAT. EQUAL RIGHTS SHOULD INCLUDE RIGHTS TO BE ANNOYING ON FACEBOOK EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE.
Anyway, I'm sorry. Sorry for stepping on your toes, or being rude, or starting arguments. I can assure you, most arguments with my Facebook or Twitter friends are not fun for me. It goes against every instinct that I have and I don't want to do it anymore. But, if you're asking for my apology for standing up for what I believe in, and standing up to sarcasm and ridicule of what I believe, I won't do that.
I'm willing to do my part to repair any relationship I have broken. I'd like to actually have some friends that I have decent conversations with. I don't have too many of those other than my brother and fiancee, currently. I never let someone's views get in the way of me caring for them and loving them, and I don't think you should either, but I can't tell you what to do. :)
Well.
I feel a lot better now that it's out of my system. I hope that your eyes are opened to my inner torment over all of this. I can't shake off losing a single friend. I take every un-follow and de-friend personally. I know I've done some un-friending recently too, and I honestly can't say it was warranted, either. I've had a lot of anger for a long time. I'm working on it.
I hope you'll accept this as my apology, friends. Even if we're not "Facebook official" or you don't follow me on twitter, I still consider you a friend. I care about you and I hope that things are going well for you. If there's anything I can do for you, please let me know! Share this with your friends who you know have deleted me from their lives. I won't add them back but will gladly welcome anyone back into my life.
Thanks for listening, and reading, and please share your thoughts with me, good or bad. And pray for me, if you should feel so inclined. Also, pray for my dear friend CJ, who has gone through much worse this week.
Thanks. God Bless.
NAH
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
Greater detail than Facebook or Twitter
It's been a little while since I've posted in here, and this blog IS for sorting out my thoughts. So here goes.
I'm torn up about the 2012 Presidential Campaign. There is entirely too much mudslinging. When did it become okay to ignore what's actually wrong with the world and vote for one of two despicable campaigns. I'm becoming convinced more and more every day that I must vote alongside a moral obligation instead of the "lesser of two evils". I don't care if my vote "counts" because at least I will be able to sleep at night knowing that a write in for Luke Skywalker, Shaggy Rogers, or Ron Paul didn't increase the national debt.
Mitt Romney's comments in the infamous "47%" video..were off the cuff and playing to a certain type of audience. You don't behave differently and say things in different ways to different groups of people? Really? Yeah. That's what I thought.
Since I care so little about the outcome of this election, here's something nice about Barack Obama:
He really cares. He is a genuine human being with a good heart. He wants to help the United States. He wants to help people the best he can. I like Obama as a man. He seems to be a decent fellow. Neither he or Romney is going to help anyone or change anything with the country behaving as it currently is. We are blaming politicians for the way that we are behaving, and I am sick of it.
I mean what I say about Jesus being the answer. He is our only salvation. The United States will never be "saved" unless they turn to God. If everyone was turning to Jesus instead of Obama or Romney or Bill Clinton, there wouldn't BE problems like the ones America is facing. There would be an excess of compassion and love to go around. That's what Jesus wanted for us. If everyone extends compassion and help to those who need it on a daily basis, no one would need to rely on the government to do the people's job. If you think the government should do it, why don't YOU do it?!
I try to serve in any way I can. I am selfish with my money sometimes, but I would actually be in serious financial trouble without my parents. I am an underemployed college graduate whose parents showed him love and compassion in keeping him around until he gets on his feet. Money isn't the only way to help someone. Lend an ear, an arm, or any body part you can to help someone in need. I try to lend things like that, things that I wish people would give to me.
No matter how underemployed, poor, or lonely I am, I have incredible gifts. Incredibly family, friends, and a girlfriend that love me. God has shown me so much compassion, because my life could be so much worse. See how much you can improve someone's life just by reaching out to them. Reach out, even if they don't reach back at first.
I hope some (if any) of this made sense to you. Just know that politically, I consider myself a moderate/independent. I lean to the right sometimes out of moral conviction, but am very level headed and logical much of the time. I appreciate your reading. Thanks, God bless, and I love you. Let me know if there's anything I can do for you.
--NAH
I'm torn up about the 2012 Presidential Campaign. There is entirely too much mudslinging. When did it become okay to ignore what's actually wrong with the world and vote for one of two despicable campaigns. I'm becoming convinced more and more every day that I must vote alongside a moral obligation instead of the "lesser of two evils". I don't care if my vote "counts" because at least I will be able to sleep at night knowing that a write in for Luke Skywalker, Shaggy Rogers, or Ron Paul didn't increase the national debt.
Mitt Romney's comments in the infamous "47%" video..were off the cuff and playing to a certain type of audience. You don't behave differently and say things in different ways to different groups of people? Really? Yeah. That's what I thought.
Since I care so little about the outcome of this election, here's something nice about Barack Obama:
He really cares. He is a genuine human being with a good heart. He wants to help the United States. He wants to help people the best he can. I like Obama as a man. He seems to be a decent fellow. Neither he or Romney is going to help anyone or change anything with the country behaving as it currently is. We are blaming politicians for the way that we are behaving, and I am sick of it.
I mean what I say about Jesus being the answer. He is our only salvation. The United States will never be "saved" unless they turn to God. If everyone was turning to Jesus instead of Obama or Romney or Bill Clinton, there wouldn't BE problems like the ones America is facing. There would be an excess of compassion and love to go around. That's what Jesus wanted for us. If everyone extends compassion and help to those who need it on a daily basis, no one would need to rely on the government to do the people's job. If you think the government should do it, why don't YOU do it?!
I try to serve in any way I can. I am selfish with my money sometimes, but I would actually be in serious financial trouble without my parents. I am an underemployed college graduate whose parents showed him love and compassion in keeping him around until he gets on his feet. Money isn't the only way to help someone. Lend an ear, an arm, or any body part you can to help someone in need. I try to lend things like that, things that I wish people would give to me.
No matter how underemployed, poor, or lonely I am, I have incredible gifts. Incredibly family, friends, and a girlfriend that love me. God has shown me so much compassion, because my life could be so much worse. See how much you can improve someone's life just by reaching out to them. Reach out, even if they don't reach back at first.
I hope some (if any) of this made sense to you. Just know that politically, I consider myself a moderate/independent. I lean to the right sometimes out of moral conviction, but am very level headed and logical much of the time. I appreciate your reading. Thanks, God bless, and I love you. Let me know if there's anything I can do for you.
--NAH
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Lost
I don't know where else to put this so here it goes.
I am not against gay marriage. I am defending chick-fil-a because the media is too hard on people like this. (I defended Tiger Woods and still disagreed with what he did). If you look around you'll find a lot more people than you think agree with him. Bigotry is not a good word to use for people like this. Bigotry is a word reserved for the Westboro Baptist Church, Adolf Hitler and the like. You should instead call this "majority of Americans". I am for gay marriage. I think with separation of church and state it's impractical to deny anyone basic civil rights. I think they should be able to marry their mailbox if they want to. I don't really care what they do. I believe in God and the Bible and I struggle with people's real feelings versus what God says and what I know in my heart to be true. But my religious beliefs do NOT make me a bigot.
Jesus wouldn't want us fighting about it. Jesus would tell us all how irrelevant all of this really is. You know, God gave up his only son for us. For humans. You have to take things like this and wonder "Why?"
I'm hoping I still have friends left. I am missing the people closest to me and without them I am nothing. And right now I am without them. If you are to pray for me today, I would feel greatly appreciative. I have never felt more alone.
No matter your stance on the Chick-Fil-A issue, you are wrong. Because it is irrelevant. Chick-fil-a is going to thrive, in spite of your "boycott" and gay people will still get married, despite their "lobbying". Just love each other and get over yourselves. Thanks.
NAH.
I am not against gay marriage. I am defending chick-fil-a because the media is too hard on people like this. (I defended Tiger Woods and still disagreed with what he did). If you look around you'll find a lot more people than you think agree with him. Bigotry is not a good word to use for people like this. Bigotry is a word reserved for the Westboro Baptist Church, Adolf Hitler and the like. You should instead call this "majority of Americans". I am for gay marriage. I think with separation of church and state it's impractical to deny anyone basic civil rights. I think they should be able to marry their mailbox if they want to. I don't really care what they do. I believe in God and the Bible and I struggle with people's real feelings versus what God says and what I know in my heart to be true. But my religious beliefs do NOT make me a bigot.
Jesus wouldn't want us fighting about it. Jesus would tell us all how irrelevant all of this really is. You know, God gave up his only son for us. For humans. You have to take things like this and wonder "Why?"
I'm hoping I still have friends left. I am missing the people closest to me and without them I am nothing. And right now I am without them. If you are to pray for me today, I would feel greatly appreciative. I have never felt more alone.
No matter your stance on the Chick-Fil-A issue, you are wrong. Because it is irrelevant. Chick-fil-a is going to thrive, in spite of your "boycott" and gay people will still get married, despite their "lobbying". Just love each other and get over yourselves. Thanks.
NAH.
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Here We Go Again
Hello Internet. It's been awhile.
I feel pretty good about a few things in my life, like my girl is amazing. She's my best friend and I love how happy she makes me and how happy I seem to make her.
I'm working back at K-mart, but that has brought my confidence back. My confidence is delicate, but by and large, working at K-mart has put me back on the "find a good job for my future" course.
But here is my problem:
Everything I was passionate about months ago has fallen away. I'm in a show right now but it's difficult for me to connect to the material, and it's been a rough-going production for the cast and the director thus far, though things are finally looking up.
Also, I'm selling out and finding a big-boy job, because I want to have money to have a decent life for myself.
I have been telling people in job interviews that I am a people person, but I'm starting to think that's not true anymore. I used to take pride in my relationships because I put so much work into them and I had lots of friends that I cared about and cared about me.
But...living away from them is teaching me that...well...that I was wrong. It's so hard to think that people who were such a huge part of my life now barely talk to me. I can name 3 people from Nashville/Lipscomb that have contacted me first in the last three weeks. I'm not even that far away from them...should things really be this difficult?
My prayer today is that I make the most of my situation. Obviously, God knows what he is doing. But I long for the brotherhood (and sisterhood) that I once had. My prayer is that God takes control of my life and helps me not to need those things I once relied on. I pray that he gives me strength in all that I do, and keeps me forward on the path he wants for me.
Prayers and Comments are always appreciated and encouraged.
NAH
I feel pretty good about a few things in my life, like my girl is amazing. She's my best friend and I love how happy she makes me and how happy I seem to make her.
I'm working back at K-mart, but that has brought my confidence back. My confidence is delicate, but by and large, working at K-mart has put me back on the "find a good job for my future" course.
But here is my problem:
Everything I was passionate about months ago has fallen away. I'm in a show right now but it's difficult for me to connect to the material, and it's been a rough-going production for the cast and the director thus far, though things are finally looking up.
Also, I'm selling out and finding a big-boy job, because I want to have money to have a decent life for myself.
I have been telling people in job interviews that I am a people person, but I'm starting to think that's not true anymore. I used to take pride in my relationships because I put so much work into them and I had lots of friends that I cared about and cared about me.
But...living away from them is teaching me that...well...that I was wrong. It's so hard to think that people who were such a huge part of my life now barely talk to me. I can name 3 people from Nashville/Lipscomb that have contacted me first in the last three weeks. I'm not even that far away from them...should things really be this difficult?
My prayer today is that I make the most of my situation. Obviously, God knows what he is doing. But I long for the brotherhood (and sisterhood) that I once had. My prayer is that God takes control of my life and helps me not to need those things I once relied on. I pray that he gives me strength in all that I do, and keeps me forward on the path he wants for me.
Prayers and Comments are always appreciated and encouraged.
NAH
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
There and Back Again?
Okay. So here we are. Back in my first blog. And why?
Main reason is....I'm totally lost.
I got back on at K-mart because I was tired of not having any money. My parents seem sure that I'm going to immediately find a full-time job with benefits. I'm obviously (after two months of fruitless search) less convinced.
But all in all, my life just lacks clarity. For once, I'm absolutely certain where I want to go in my love life, and I'm almost as certain that God wants the same thing for me.
But here I am. 22. Heart for acting/theatre/the lot. I don't think I can live with myself if I'm not contributing to this world. And I settled for part time at K-mart while I look for a job, but I'm thankful for the flexibility which allows me to do a show, and I would do this for the rest of my life if I could. I don't mind a part-time retail job if my passion is being actively used to counteract it.
Here's the other problem: My future. I want to get married eventually and I have to have the money to support not only myself but (quite likely, anyway) someone else.
Options:
1.) Eventually find a full-time job, that I will likely hate and be less-than-qualified to do, or not at all interested in doing, but will make a good life for me and my future wife (fingers still crossed on that one).
2.) Graduate School- I'm torn about this one, because ideally I would study acting, but I could finish a Communication Studies degree faster, and I have that much better of a chance in the job market with Master's Degree. I would need to take the GRE VERY soon to have a chance of being admitted in the fall (to something other than an acting program, which don't always require it)
3.) Continue with my current course and work part-time while chasing the dream. I've been blessed with parents who aren't pressuring me (too much :P) to get out of their house. All of that stress, I have placed on myself. Obviously, (as stated above) I'm okay with this for me, but pursuing life as a family man...I just don't know.
My girlfriend is very supportive in all this. She doesn't want me to give up my dreams for her sake (and I wouldn't) but I want the world for her, not for me. One (of MANY) reasons she is so great is that she understands my plight as an artist, and I hers. I would never trade that for anything.
Here's what I ask of my readers. Prayers. Encouragement. Advice. Anything you've got. I need to better in my own prayer life, too. Hopefully this well help push me there.
Anyway, I love you. Thanks for reading if you did. Comments are appreciated. :)
Nick
Main reason is....I'm totally lost.
I got back on at K-mart because I was tired of not having any money. My parents seem sure that I'm going to immediately find a full-time job with benefits. I'm obviously (after two months of fruitless search) less convinced.
But all in all, my life just lacks clarity. For once, I'm absolutely certain where I want to go in my love life, and I'm almost as certain that God wants the same thing for me.
But here I am. 22. Heart for acting/theatre/the lot. I don't think I can live with myself if I'm not contributing to this world. And I settled for part time at K-mart while I look for a job, but I'm thankful for the flexibility which allows me to do a show, and I would do this for the rest of my life if I could. I don't mind a part-time retail job if my passion is being actively used to counteract it.
Here's the other problem: My future. I want to get married eventually and I have to have the money to support not only myself but (quite likely, anyway) someone else.
Options:
1.) Eventually find a full-time job, that I will likely hate and be less-than-qualified to do, or not at all interested in doing, but will make a good life for me and my future wife (fingers still crossed on that one).
2.) Graduate School- I'm torn about this one, because ideally I would study acting, but I could finish a Communication Studies degree faster, and I have that much better of a chance in the job market with Master's Degree. I would need to take the GRE VERY soon to have a chance of being admitted in the fall (to something other than an acting program, which don't always require it)
3.) Continue with my current course and work part-time while chasing the dream. I've been blessed with parents who aren't pressuring me (too much :P) to get out of their house. All of that stress, I have placed on myself. Obviously, (as stated above) I'm okay with this for me, but pursuing life as a family man...I just don't know.
My girlfriend is very supportive in all this. She doesn't want me to give up my dreams for her sake (and I wouldn't) but I want the world for her, not for me. One (of MANY) reasons she is so great is that she understands my plight as an artist, and I hers. I would never trade that for anything.
Here's what I ask of my readers. Prayers. Encouragement. Advice. Anything you've got. I need to better in my own prayer life, too. Hopefully this well help push me there.
Anyway, I love you. Thanks for reading if you did. Comments are appreciated. :)
Nick
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Okay so what now?
Exactly one month ago, I graduated from college with a Bachelor of Arts in Oral Communication and Minor in Theatre. What is one to do now?
I'm living with my folks back in Indiana, searching for jobs so I can save 80% of my money, give 10% to church and spend the other 10% on gas to get up to Indianapolis Auditions.
It's kind of a rough thing to do, really. Trying to find a "career" that isn't your calling and being too overqualified to make minimum wage?
God has looked out for me though. Because, I am DEBT FREE. (I have no money, but I also don't owe anybody anything, which is awesome!)
I also met this amazing girl (see "whirlwind crush" from previous post) and God has blessed my life in so many ways just by putting her in it.
That's my update in short. The question I pose today is...what do I do now? (And yes, just commenting with a link to a classified ad IS acceptable)
The other update: I will be starting a separate blog to write movie reviews....but it's going to be a very unique blog all at the same time. Details to follow.
God Bless!
Nick
I'm living with my folks back in Indiana, searching for jobs so I can save 80% of my money, give 10% to church and spend the other 10% on gas to get up to Indianapolis Auditions.
It's kind of a rough thing to do, really. Trying to find a "career" that isn't your calling and being too overqualified to make minimum wage?
God has looked out for me though. Because, I am DEBT FREE. (I have no money, but I also don't owe anybody anything, which is awesome!)
I also met this amazing girl (see "whirlwind crush" from previous post) and God has blessed my life in so many ways just by putting her in it.
That's my update in short. The question I pose today is...what do I do now? (And yes, just commenting with a link to a classified ad IS acceptable)
The other update: I will be starting a separate blog to write movie reviews....but it's going to be a very unique blog all at the same time. Details to follow.
God Bless!
Nick
Thursday, July 28, 2011
My Summer
My summer (thus far) has been crazy. Some good, some bad. It's been a whirlwind and it's all starting to bog me down. Wanna hear about it? If you don't, stop reading! Fair warning...
So I started a killer-awesome internship with the IRT, got cast in two shows, and got reunited with my friends. Sounds like a great summer, right?
Those parts were. But little by little I start to feel edged out by my friends (not being able to hang out during the week does this to you) and the further I go on the less I feel like I am a part of the group.
Then, I get news that one of my best friends isn't coming back to school in the fall. I feel like...well....like I've lost my best friend.
The Reds traded Jonny Gomes (my favorite player) and aren't doing so hot lately. (Ok, I know that this one sounds silly, but I have a previous blog about how I escape into sports, and when I can't do that...)
A whirlwind of a crush makes me feel like my love life could never be under control.
There are plenty of things that happened that I won't mention. But, I can tell you, I've never had to work this hard to be happy. (or been this good at faking how I really feel)
Here is my prayer for today.
God,
Please bring my friends back to me. Show me back to you and to the life I should be living, and I know that everything will fall into place. I know that it will not be perfect but when I am back into your will for my life I will know. Help me to not be selfish in wanting my friends love or attention, or in putting my own life ahead of the ones I care about. Forgive me of my sins. I want you to take them away so that I don't feel burdened by them anymore. Please provide for me in Nashville. I can see you working on my relationships with people there to help fill the void. Help me to show the ones I love that I love them, and help me to feel like your child again.
-N
Thanks so much for reading if you did. I love you all and would love to be in deeper relationships with all of you if you would like :)
PS. On the bright side, I did get a lot of good playwriting material from this summer.
So I started a killer-awesome internship with the IRT, got cast in two shows, and got reunited with my friends. Sounds like a great summer, right?
Those parts were. But little by little I start to feel edged out by my friends (not being able to hang out during the week does this to you) and the further I go on the less I feel like I am a part of the group.
Then, I get news that one of my best friends isn't coming back to school in the fall. I feel like...well....like I've lost my best friend.
The Reds traded Jonny Gomes (my favorite player) and aren't doing so hot lately. (Ok, I know that this one sounds silly, but I have a previous blog about how I escape into sports, and when I can't do that...)
A whirlwind of a crush makes me feel like my love life could never be under control.
There are plenty of things that happened that I won't mention. But, I can tell you, I've never had to work this hard to be happy. (or been this good at faking how I really feel)
Here is my prayer for today.
God,
Please bring my friends back to me. Show me back to you and to the life I should be living, and I know that everything will fall into place. I know that it will not be perfect but when I am back into your will for my life I will know. Help me to not be selfish in wanting my friends love or attention, or in putting my own life ahead of the ones I care about. Forgive me of my sins. I want you to take them away so that I don't feel burdened by them anymore. Please provide for me in Nashville. I can see you working on my relationships with people there to help fill the void. Help me to show the ones I love that I love them, and help me to feel like your child again.
-N
Thanks so much for reading if you did. I love you all and would love to be in deeper relationships with all of you if you would like :)
PS. On the bright side, I did get a lot of good playwriting material from this summer.
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Rougher, Tougher, Not Any Better
Hey all.
I realize it's been quite awhile. I feel like I only write when I need something. I really need your prayers. My heart is hardening. I used to feel like I had a decent heart. I don't anymore. I still care deeply about all the people close to me, but I feel more bitter and apathetic by the day. My friends are hurting and I feel I can do nothing for them, other friends are drifting away and I feel trapped. Like my feet are in cement blocks. My past experiences are saving me from my depression. My friends help me exponentially, but only seeing them once or twice a week is just....difficult. My Lipscomb friends being gone makes everything worse, and I only thought being busy all the time would help.
I don't know where else to go. I don't have too many people I can talk to. I think most people in the church mistake my dry sense of humor for being rude and selfish. I wouldn't go as far as to say they "hate" me, but I don't think there is a general fondness there. Most of my friends have their own problems. I love them, and I'm glad to help them with their problems, but often times I feel like I am at best unequipped to help anyone.
My prayer today is for my friends. The people that I have the deepest love for. God, please help them. Show them your path and your light. You are the answer to their problems and to mine. I do not wish to force you on anyone, but I pray that you shine through me again so that I may shine to them. I pray that my heart softens and my apathy fades, for only through you can I truly love. Father, I know you will never forsake or abandon me. I know you are here. Help me to make the best of that.
Love,
Nick
PS. I hope I have offended no-one. I really do care for you all.
I realize it's been quite awhile. I feel like I only write when I need something. I really need your prayers. My heart is hardening. I used to feel like I had a decent heart. I don't anymore. I still care deeply about all the people close to me, but I feel more bitter and apathetic by the day. My friends are hurting and I feel I can do nothing for them, other friends are drifting away and I feel trapped. Like my feet are in cement blocks. My past experiences are saving me from my depression. My friends help me exponentially, but only seeing them once or twice a week is just....difficult. My Lipscomb friends being gone makes everything worse, and I only thought being busy all the time would help.
I don't know where else to go. I don't have too many people I can talk to. I think most people in the church mistake my dry sense of humor for being rude and selfish. I wouldn't go as far as to say they "hate" me, but I don't think there is a general fondness there. Most of my friends have their own problems. I love them, and I'm glad to help them with their problems, but often times I feel like I am at best unequipped to help anyone.
My prayer today is for my friends. The people that I have the deepest love for. God, please help them. Show them your path and your light. You are the answer to their problems and to mine. I do not wish to force you on anyone, but I pray that you shine through me again so that I may shine to them. I pray that my heart softens and my apathy fades, for only through you can I truly love. Father, I know you will never forsake or abandon me. I know you are here. Help me to make the best of that.
Love,
Nick
PS. I hope I have offended no-one. I really do care for you all.
Monday, April 18, 2011
Broken
Dear Faithful Readers,
It has been awhile since I've written. I could probably find something more scholastically oriented to focus my time on...but as it stands at present, I do not care.
I don't feel like myself lately. Or maybe, this is the real me? I'm not sure yet. But I know that I've been filled with lots of hate, and I've been just a jerk lately. If I have been a jerk to you, I am sorry. I had a dear friend told me that he was angry at God last night. I think that's perfectly normal. I am too. I can totally relate to trying to be the best that I can be, and being a good person and doing everything to the best of my ability, and yet it seems I always fall short. There are SO many people out there who don't deserve relationships, who treat people badly, and yet...they succeed. Their lives are "better" than mine. Is it wrong of me to be jealous of them? I really just don't know what to do. I hate to even say that I'm angry at God, because I know he wants my life to be the best it can be. But the fact of the matter is....I'm getting angry when I know I shouldn't. At God AND everyone else.
So here I am. Broken. Not sure how much my life is worth at this point. Asking for A) Your forgiveness. And B) Your prayers. I love everyone who reads this, and I really need your help and your thoughts to help me. I'm hurting, but I love you still.
God Bless,
Nick
It has been awhile since I've written. I could probably find something more scholastically oriented to focus my time on...but as it stands at present, I do not care.
I don't feel like myself lately. Or maybe, this is the real me? I'm not sure yet. But I know that I've been filled with lots of hate, and I've been just a jerk lately. If I have been a jerk to you, I am sorry. I had a dear friend told me that he was angry at God last night. I think that's perfectly normal. I am too. I can totally relate to trying to be the best that I can be, and being a good person and doing everything to the best of my ability, and yet it seems I always fall short. There are SO many people out there who don't deserve relationships, who treat people badly, and yet...they succeed. Their lives are "better" than mine. Is it wrong of me to be jealous of them? I really just don't know what to do. I hate to even say that I'm angry at God, because I know he wants my life to be the best it can be. But the fact of the matter is....I'm getting angry when I know I shouldn't. At God AND everyone else.
So here I am. Broken. Not sure how much my life is worth at this point. Asking for A) Your forgiveness. And B) Your prayers. I love everyone who reads this, and I really need your help and your thoughts to help me. I'm hurting, but I love you still.
God Bless,
Nick
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
You were wrong, I was right, You said goodbye, I said goodnight.
I just want to update the world on how I feel today. I had a talk with my friend last night about how I felt about the way things went down versus how she felt about being a blog subject. I got an honest answer. Definitely not an answer that I wanted to hear in any way. But I got an honest answer. And honestly, even though I got little sleep last night and heard very little in the way of "wanting to hear", I feel great. Why's that? Because THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE!
Obviously, this is a common theme with how I've lived my life thus far. I don't like lies. But even though I would much rather have heard the opposite of what I did hear, I'm SO glad that I heard the truth. I already feel better about myself and growth opportunities that I will have. My life just all of a sudden doesn't seem so bad. Because someone I think that I know pretty well and knows me pretty well, told me the truth. That is my challenge to you. Be honest. Do not try to protect someone's feelings because you think they can't take it, or you think that they might get hurt. Do it because it needs to be done. Give yourself the courage to do this. I promise you, from this example and countless others. The TRUTH will set you free. Not partial truth or mostly truth. The absolute truth will set you free.
I feel a million times better after only a day. Father, I pray for all the people in my life that need you more than I do. I pray that today, this semester, this year, that things go better for all of us. Because I love them, you love them, and you love me too.
God Bless you All. Thanks for reading. Feedback always appreciated.
Nick
Obviously, this is a common theme with how I've lived my life thus far. I don't like lies. But even though I would much rather have heard the opposite of what I did hear, I'm SO glad that I heard the truth. I already feel better about myself and growth opportunities that I will have. My life just all of a sudden doesn't seem so bad. Because someone I think that I know pretty well and knows me pretty well, told me the truth. That is my challenge to you. Be honest. Do not try to protect someone's feelings because you think they can't take it, or you think that they might get hurt. Do it because it needs to be done. Give yourself the courage to do this. I promise you, from this example and countless others. The TRUTH will set you free. Not partial truth or mostly truth. The absolute truth will set you free.
I feel a million times better after only a day. Father, I pray for all the people in my life that need you more than I do. I pray that today, this semester, this year, that things go better for all of us. Because I love them, you love them, and you love me too.
God Bless you All. Thanks for reading. Feedback always appreciated.
Nick
Monday, February 7, 2011
Am I Crazy For Lovin' You?
The answer to the above question is yes. I am an idiot. I ACTUALLY believed you might have meant what you said. But of course I was wrong. I'm never wrong about anything in my life and I picked this one. Awesome. Well of course thanks. For nothing. I've been in situations before when I had to choose and I had to deliberate and decide between women, or other things. I'm really bad with decisions and usually, they all die. They fade. They leave before a decision is made. And I'm left....alone. But I was proud of myself. I had a decision made. And guess what? You reminded me why I was the way I was.
"People don't realize this, but loneliness is underrated"- (500) Days of Summer
I wasn't sure that I agreed with the above statement at first. But I realize now that loneliness might be the life for me. I can do whatever I want. I'm bound by no one's schedule but mine, and the most important thing about loneliness- You don't get un-hurt just to get hurt again.
"Well, you know, Henry Miller said the best way to get over a woman is to turn her into literature"- (500) Days of Summer
I don't know if a blog is literature. But it's helping.
My faith, God, is struggling along. I know that you are there and that you are real, and that you have purpose for me. I learned that in my darkest hour. But what I don't understand is why my life has felt the same for so long. If there is a map, why am I driving in circles? My prayer today is that you show me. I don't ask to see the whole plan. I know that's impossible. Maybe just....the next step? I'm always in prayer for my friends, Lord. Especially the ones who have it all together. I'm so afraid that I will get depressed and turn to things that I don't need in my life. That you want me to turn away from. Father guide me back. I am willing.
Thanks for reading. If you're going to post negativity just don't. If you have a problem talk to me about it, posting comments is not the way to do it. I love you all and if you have anything to say to me I encourage it. I just don't think you ought to post it here. Again, I LOVE YOU.
Nick
"People don't realize this, but loneliness is underrated"- (500) Days of Summer
I wasn't sure that I agreed with the above statement at first. But I realize now that loneliness might be the life for me. I can do whatever I want. I'm bound by no one's schedule but mine, and the most important thing about loneliness- You don't get un-hurt just to get hurt again.
"Well, you know, Henry Miller said the best way to get over a woman is to turn her into literature"- (500) Days of Summer
I don't know if a blog is literature. But it's helping.
My faith, God, is struggling along. I know that you are there and that you are real, and that you have purpose for me. I learned that in my darkest hour. But what I don't understand is why my life has felt the same for so long. If there is a map, why am I driving in circles? My prayer today is that you show me. I don't ask to see the whole plan. I know that's impossible. Maybe just....the next step? I'm always in prayer for my friends, Lord. Especially the ones who have it all together. I'm so afraid that I will get depressed and turn to things that I don't need in my life. That you want me to turn away from. Father guide me back. I am willing.
Thanks for reading. If you're going to post negativity just don't. If you have a problem talk to me about it, posting comments is not the way to do it. I love you all and if you have anything to say to me I encourage it. I just don't think you ought to post it here. Again, I LOVE YOU.
Nick
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Question for the day...
Why does the world frown so much upon honesty? Wouldn't you like to just march up to someone and tell them that you think they're pretty? Or that they're cute? or that you've been in love with them for years? Or that they did a good job in that thing you saw them in? What prevents us, as humans, from doing this?
My answer: Fear of rejection. I fear that people that I think are pretty won't think that I'm pretty.
Your answer: ?
GO!
My answer: Fear of rejection. I fear that people that I think are pretty won't think that I'm pretty.
Your answer: ?
GO!
Saturday, January 29, 2011
What Can I Say? What Can I Do? But Offer This Heart, Oh God....
I have a lot of things running through my head right now. I am in prayer for all of my friends that need it. I know that they need it more than me, so I'm doing the best I can.
But I did one selfish thing this week. I dropped Jazz Band. Actually, I washed my hands of the Lipscomb Music Department. You wanna know why? ASK ME! But this is my blog so I'll tell you anyway: I was only in it for the money, and my dad told me that the money was not worth the stress it was causing me. He asked if I liked it, I said "No". So my folks talked about it and they let me drop. What you need to understand about it is that my folks are the only reason I was doing band. I wanted to help them out with my scholarship. When that became less important, I have no good reason to stay in band. I really don't have a reason to feel guilty, but for some reason people being mad at me is making me feel bad.
Here's the burning topic for the week. Lying.
Have you ever just been able to tell when someone is lying? I always have. This week, I am 95% certain that someone I really care about lied to me. I wish she had told me the truth. Maybe I just don't believe her because it hurt. But if it was going to hurt anyway, why not just use the truth? I've always been bad at this and making enemies because I refuse to lie. After all this time, do I really deserve to be lied to? Maybe I do. I dunno.
Sorry for all these unnecessary rants. This is my blog and some of this stuff just shouldn't be holed up inside. I'm having a hard time lately. I'll keep praying. Praying that I find a job this summer, that God launches me into a career, that God takes care of the people I love and that he will bless my life. And I'll pray for you too, if you need it. I love you all, and please comment or talk to me somehow. Facebook me. Text me. Let's be better friends. :)
God Bless,
Nick
But I did one selfish thing this week. I dropped Jazz Band. Actually, I washed my hands of the Lipscomb Music Department. You wanna know why? ASK ME! But this is my blog so I'll tell you anyway: I was only in it for the money, and my dad told me that the money was not worth the stress it was causing me. He asked if I liked it, I said "No". So my folks talked about it and they let me drop. What you need to understand about it is that my folks are the only reason I was doing band. I wanted to help them out with my scholarship. When that became less important, I have no good reason to stay in band. I really don't have a reason to feel guilty, but for some reason people being mad at me is making me feel bad.
Here's the burning topic for the week. Lying.
Have you ever just been able to tell when someone is lying? I always have. This week, I am 95% certain that someone I really care about lied to me. I wish she had told me the truth. Maybe I just don't believe her because it hurt. But if it was going to hurt anyway, why not just use the truth? I've always been bad at this and making enemies because I refuse to lie. After all this time, do I really deserve to be lied to? Maybe I do. I dunno.
Sorry for all these unnecessary rants. This is my blog and some of this stuff just shouldn't be holed up inside. I'm having a hard time lately. I'll keep praying. Praying that I find a job this summer, that God launches me into a career, that God takes care of the people I love and that he will bless my life. And I'll pray for you too, if you need it. I love you all, and please comment or talk to me somehow. Facebook me. Text me. Let's be better friends. :)
God Bless,
Nick
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Things I'm tired of hearing.
Here are a couple things I'm tired of hearing. If you're tired of hearing me.....stop reading.
1. "You have SO many options on what to do with your life."
- I'm going to let you in on a little secret.... I KNOW!!!!!!! I know I have options. As a matter of fact, that's the problem! I need my course cut out for me. I want opinions from people that know me. What should I do? What do you think I would be good at? What can you see me doing? I KNOW that I have options. Not the issue.
2. "You just haven't found the right girl yet"/"The right girl is out there"
-Umm......duh? (to the first), to the second: I don't believe that. I have been thinking about these phrases and I think that people telling you this is their way of telling you A) "I'm not interested" (even though I never said I was). Or, B) This is safety statement that condemns the possibility that I might be right. I don't believe in the one. I believe that two people can make a relationship work. Period. It's all about discipline and what God deems appropriate for your two paths. I don't think there is a "one", I think there are at least....8 who could do well. But I think the latter (B) is what people are really thinking. They're condeming the possibility that I might be right (like I always am) that I'm going to be lonely for some kind of a long time. They want me to be wrong because it crushes the romantic in them. The romantic who defies most logic and all reality. Which sucks, but I try to be realistic.
And don't get me wrong. I'd love to be proven wrong. (I'm saying "wrong" a lot) But....not happening. Anytime soon anyway.
I don't know what impression you got from this. If you've told me one of these things before, this is NOT (I repeat, NOT) an attack. At all. I love you all a lot. But the fact of the matter is that I'm tired of hearing this stuff. Try telling me something I don't know, or just keeping something to yourself. Please and Thank You! Love you readers! God bless!
Nick
1. "You have SO many options on what to do with your life."
- I'm going to let you in on a little secret.... I KNOW!!!!!!! I know I have options. As a matter of fact, that's the problem! I need my course cut out for me. I want opinions from people that know me. What should I do? What do you think I would be good at? What can you see me doing? I KNOW that I have options. Not the issue.
2. "You just haven't found the right girl yet"/"The right girl is out there"
-Umm......duh? (to the first), to the second: I don't believe that. I have been thinking about these phrases and I think that people telling you this is their way of telling you A) "I'm not interested" (even though I never said I was). Or, B) This is safety statement that condemns the possibility that I might be right. I don't believe in the one. I believe that two people can make a relationship work. Period. It's all about discipline and what God deems appropriate for your two paths. I don't think there is a "one", I think there are at least....8 who could do well. But I think the latter (B) is what people are really thinking. They're condeming the possibility that I might be right (like I always am) that I'm going to be lonely for some kind of a long time. They want me to be wrong because it crushes the romantic in them. The romantic who defies most logic and all reality. Which sucks, but I try to be realistic.
And don't get me wrong. I'd love to be proven wrong. (I'm saying "wrong" a lot) But....not happening. Anytime soon anyway.
I don't know what impression you got from this. If you've told me one of these things before, this is NOT (I repeat, NOT) an attack. At all. I love you all a lot. But the fact of the matter is that I'm tired of hearing this stuff. Try telling me something I don't know, or just keeping something to yourself. Please and Thank You! Love you readers! God bless!
Nick
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Why Football is so important to me
I bet you are all wondering. Why is football so important to me? And then you saw the title of my blog and thought "I bet he's going to tell me". Well I am. So here goes.
There was a time in my life, in 2009, which is mentioned in a previous blog entry. At this time in my life, I didn't feel like I had much going for me. I felt like my life was at a dead end. Then every Sunday (The LORD's day, not a coincidence) the Colts would play. And for 14 straight weeks. They won. Have you ever needed that? That something, no matter how petty it may seem eventually? Literally the only thing I felt I had going for me was getting to witness this great season that MY team was having. It was a ray of sunshine on an overall cloudy experience.
Well listen. To a lot of you this sounds dumb, but I do this with anything I am passionate about. When my friends hurt, I hurt. I get into movies. I am competitive. I believe these things simply make me human. But I just wanted everyone to know that I am not emotional about football due to immaturity, or at least I do not believe that. I am emotional about football because it was once all I had. When the Colts lose it's like.....a friend is hurting. I just want to make it better but I can't.
Anyway. Thanks for reading. God bless.
Nick
There was a time in my life, in 2009, which is mentioned in a previous blog entry. At this time in my life, I didn't feel like I had much going for me. I felt like my life was at a dead end. Then every Sunday (The LORD's day, not a coincidence) the Colts would play. And for 14 straight weeks. They won. Have you ever needed that? That something, no matter how petty it may seem eventually? Literally the only thing I felt I had going for me was getting to witness this great season that MY team was having. It was a ray of sunshine on an overall cloudy experience.
Well listen. To a lot of you this sounds dumb, but I do this with anything I am passionate about. When my friends hurt, I hurt. I get into movies. I am competitive. I believe these things simply make me human. But I just wanted everyone to know that I am not emotional about football due to immaturity, or at least I do not believe that. I am emotional about football because it was once all I had. When the Colts lose it's like.....a friend is hurting. I just want to make it better but I can't.
Anyway. Thanks for reading. God bless.
Nick
Sunday, January 2, 2011
I. Don't. Understand.
You really know who your friends are. You can always tell. It's obvious really. The other people that are "important" are people that you wish were your friends. There are so many people in my life that I wish cared about me. That I wish God would help me let go of. Come on big guy. I just don't want to hurt because of people who don't matter to me anymore......
Saturday, January 1, 2011
I shouldn't blog when I'm tired
I'm not sure if that last one makes complete sense to me. But if it makes sense to anyone else, I'll leave it up.
Anyway, I'm really torn about 2011. Here is why.
There comes a point in every man's life when he has to grow up. 2011 is that time for me.
I, being the ultimate procrastinator, have put off "growing up" until the last possible chance. So, I've gotten all the way here, 2011, my 22nd year.... with nothing.
I have no inkling what I want to do with my life, no girlfriend, I'm terrible with money, and have no semblance of stability in my life. So, what's a guy (soon to be a man) to do? I had about 9 people click "like" on my facebook status telling me I was a good friend. Is there any way I can go pro?
I know that I would not have made it this far without God. He saved my life. He intends for me to be here, on this earth. He has plans, intentions, and uses for me. But...well. I guess sometimes it's scary walking through your life on faith alone. 21 years and 8 months, and no clue where you're going? Yeah. If it was a driving trip....I'd be a little worried by now that I didn't have directions.
I guess if you are reading this, talk to me. Give me advice. Ask for my advice. Be present. Be open minded. If I'm good enough to be a professional friend, be my friend! We can spend time together. But most of all I ask you to pray for me. Pray that I find that dirt road (obviously less traveled) that God has been dancing me around for the last 21 years. Pray for 2011. Pray for each other. Time spent in prayer is always time well spent.
I love you all. Thank you for reading. Text me sometime.
-Nick
Anyway, I'm really torn about 2011. Here is why.
There comes a point in every man's life when he has to grow up. 2011 is that time for me.
I, being the ultimate procrastinator, have put off "growing up" until the last possible chance. So, I've gotten all the way here, 2011, my 22nd year.... with nothing.
I have no inkling what I want to do with my life, no girlfriend, I'm terrible with money, and have no semblance of stability in my life. So, what's a guy (soon to be a man) to do? I had about 9 people click "like" on my facebook status telling me I was a good friend. Is there any way I can go pro?
I know that I would not have made it this far without God. He saved my life. He intends for me to be here, on this earth. He has plans, intentions, and uses for me. But...well. I guess sometimes it's scary walking through your life on faith alone. 21 years and 8 months, and no clue where you're going? Yeah. If it was a driving trip....I'd be a little worried by now that I didn't have directions.
I guess if you are reading this, talk to me. Give me advice. Ask for my advice. Be present. Be open minded. If I'm good enough to be a professional friend, be my friend! We can spend time together. But most of all I ask you to pray for me. Pray that I find that dirt road (obviously less traveled) that God has been dancing me around for the last 21 years. Pray for 2011. Pray for each other. Time spent in prayer is always time well spent.
I love you all. Thank you for reading. Text me sometime.
-Nick
Friday, December 31, 2010
2010
2010...
blew.
I got dumped. Hard.
One of my best friends' family moved to Iowa.
I've been blown off by girls who flatter themselves by thinking I'm interested.
I've been hurt. A lot.
I had a few bright moments, though. Like my summer at SpringHill
Or Ragtime.
I made 3 A's in college. Best grades I've ever gotten.
So I'm not sure what to make of this year. I'm not overwhelmed by "this is a good year". I'm ready to move on from it, I think. I have a lot of growing up to do and only 2011 to do it. This time next year I am out in the real world. I really hope that God helps me through all this. He has put some incredible people in my life to help me through it. I need to be closer to God and use him to make my 2011 the best it could possibly be. I love you all.
God Bless You (Yes, you) and Happy New Year!
Nick
blew.
I got dumped. Hard.
One of my best friends' family moved to Iowa.
I've been blown off by girls who flatter themselves by thinking I'm interested.
I've been hurt. A lot.
I had a few bright moments, though. Like my summer at SpringHill
Or Ragtime.
I made 3 A's in college. Best grades I've ever gotten.
So I'm not sure what to make of this year. I'm not overwhelmed by "this is a good year". I'm ready to move on from it, I think. I have a lot of growing up to do and only 2011 to do it. This time next year I am out in the real world. I really hope that God helps me through all this. He has put some incredible people in my life to help me through it. I need to be closer to God and use him to make my 2011 the best it could possibly be. I love you all.
God Bless You (Yes, you) and Happy New Year!
Nick
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
My latest struggles
I struggle with some of the same things as many others. Lust. Anger. Jealousy. Self-Esteem. All of these things have played a constant role in hurting me throughout a good portion of my life. My prayer for myself and for my loved ones is that we all overcome these things. God has created us, knowing that we are better than these things. Satan throws these things at us to try to break us. We are not stronger. But God IS.
My struggle with anger has gotten so much better. I'm learning (slowly but surely) to let things go. I have been struggling lately with hatred of this one particular person. I'm just lately finding out that it's my deep-seeded insecurities making me angry. I'm angry because (if you don't know the situation) this guy "won" in a certain life situation, and I broke down thinking "Why in the world would this guy, who is a complete jerk, win, and I lose?" But I'm learning to let go. I'm choosing to believe that God's plan for his life is mapped out and that he "needs the win" (for those of you who watched HIMYM last night) . So I'm going to let him have it. I've let go.
My weeks are getting so crazy that I forget to spend time with God, but I am realizing that I can always go back, and it will be just as wonderful as always. The support system God has placed in my life is great, and even though I constantly hurt with worry and missing my friends who are far away, God allows me peace. I am constantly learning lessons. Unfortunately, I am often learning them the hard way. But I know that I am alive today because God intended it, and that I have lessons to learn, and have to live to serve him and others in the best way that I can.
Occasionally I go back to the entrance of the dark place I mentioned in my previous post. I never go all the way in, because I know God does not want that, but depression often eats away at me. If you are reading this, I hope you will pray for me that I continue to see God through the dark and fight my way through to the light.
If you are reading this and need prayers, or need something, ANYTHING from me, please let me know. I aspire to serve in any way possible. I will try as often as I can to take time out to pray for you, or to listen to you, or to offer advice, or a shoulder to cry on. You are as much of a child of God as anyone else, and you deserve that much. Or if you have any questions for me, I will always answer you honestly.
I love you all. Thanks for reading. God bless.
My struggle with anger has gotten so much better. I'm learning (slowly but surely) to let things go. I have been struggling lately with hatred of this one particular person. I'm just lately finding out that it's my deep-seeded insecurities making me angry. I'm angry because (if you don't know the situation) this guy "won" in a certain life situation, and I broke down thinking "Why in the world would this guy, who is a complete jerk, win, and I lose?" But I'm learning to let go. I'm choosing to believe that God's plan for his life is mapped out and that he "needs the win" (for those of you who watched HIMYM last night) . So I'm going to let him have it. I've let go.
My weeks are getting so crazy that I forget to spend time with God, but I am realizing that I can always go back, and it will be just as wonderful as always. The support system God has placed in my life is great, and even though I constantly hurt with worry and missing my friends who are far away, God allows me peace. I am constantly learning lessons. Unfortunately, I am often learning them the hard way. But I know that I am alive today because God intended it, and that I have lessons to learn, and have to live to serve him and others in the best way that I can.
Occasionally I go back to the entrance of the dark place I mentioned in my previous post. I never go all the way in, because I know God does not want that, but depression often eats away at me. If you are reading this, I hope you will pray for me that I continue to see God through the dark and fight my way through to the light.
If you are reading this and need prayers, or need something, ANYTHING from me, please let me know. I aspire to serve in any way possible. I will try as often as I can to take time out to pray for you, or to listen to you, or to offer advice, or a shoulder to cry on. You are as much of a child of God as anyone else, and you deserve that much. Or if you have any questions for me, I will always answer you honestly.
I love you all. Thanks for reading. God bless.
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